Jennifer Lynn

Yesterday was my first “real” spinning class. You know, the one that you have to pay for and where everyone walks in with spinning shoes and padded shorts. I didn’t think I would be nervous but I was the instant I walked in. There wasn’t anyone really scary in there, but I just took a little mental break and walked into a bike. Nice. My shirt wrapped itself around the handle and I was stuck. Ok Jen, just calm the hell down-what is wrong with you? I giggled and unstuck myself as the front row of lesbians (maybe wishful thinking) all laughed and said welcome to spinning! I continued back to my row. Not quite the back but not in the front either and ended up using a different bike. Why? No idea other than the aforementioned giggling. I told myself I was trying something new but really, I just panicked and went for the first bike.

 Am I always going to be like this? This is a legitimate question. For years, I was so self-conscious and so loathing of myself that I avoided the new and/or scary things. I see this about me and know that I have to constantly push myself out of my comfort zone-professionally, personally…everything. So, I push but I still freak out internally on a regular basis. I’m 35…I think it is just the way I am wired. At least I push, right? When I stop that, just shoot me!

Anyways, the class was good. Loud thumpy Halloween music, fun graphics and a little bit of push. The only problem? The teacher LIED to me…she said that the beginning class started at 30 minutes and worked up over the six-week period to a full hour. I spinned (spun?) my ass off for 50 minutes! What does that mean? Nothing bad-I accrued a butt-load of activity points (13) from ww and I worked really hard! I gave her a look after the class and she smiled at me, patted me on the shoulder and said, “I thought you wouldn’t come if it was longer.”

Great googildly moogildy with all this pushing!

Jen

If I am not for myself, who will be?
If I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?
~Hillel

I have to admit that I’ve been wanting to post this for a long time. It is the little secret I share with only myself as I walk around the track at the gym.  I walk a minimum of 1 mile everytime I am at the gym-no matter what else I do. So, I have a lot of time to ponder as I walk-even with my groovy pink ipod. I try to get an added bonus in my focusing on my posture and sucking it all in. That sounds like I’m trying to look better then I am, but that isn’t it. I do tai chi and firmly believe in strengthening my core and I work on this by trying to get my belly button as close to my spine as possible.

Are you laughing yet? Yes, I’m a big girl still and that is a pretty far stretch. But, as is, it lifts my tummy up and up until last week when I do this, my tummy has been big enough that I feel a physical difference-my tummy lifts up off the rest of my body-I’ll let you figure out where. SO, I’m walking around the track warming up before spinning class and I do my little exercise and guess what? My tummy lifted a little bit but there wasn’t enough tummy there to lift off of a different part of my body.

It’s the little things that show me I’m doing good!

~Jen