March to May is a long time for this blog to stay silent. I have lots of excuses-you know them all. Working two jobs, end of semester, too busy with life, too busy with food to end up here and face my demons. It’s nothing new and as I surfed weight loss blogs today (something I have never done before) I realized just how much I am part of something that so many people face.
I just finished a book called “I’m not the new me”. I will save my commentary for another post. But, she started with a website and I hungrily got on this morning to check it out and be inspired. Instead, I found a site that is now devoted to her book and her publicicty and blah, blah, blah. Then, I just googled and found that most of the blogs and websites for weight loss look a lot like mine-not a lot of action except for the ones that have just started. The most tragic one was last updated in 2003 with a headline of “I GIVE UP!” How do we all end up like this? Where does strength go? How is it that this weight thing is so daunting and terrifying that so many of us fail?
I am a fairly stubborn woman and I am refusing to give up. For the first time in months I got on this site and started reading what I have posted previously and a magical thing happened. I have comments! I have comments? I freaked out and found great and wonderful comments of support and understanding from complete strangers. Wow! I cannot express how much they boosted my determination that I am doing the right thing here.
I forgive myself. I have spent the last two weeks on an island coming to terms with how quickly I deserted this blog and my goals and how they are still incredibly important to me and my life. I have to forgive myself to let go of the guilt I feel for not taking the harder but worthier path these last few months.
One of the comments I had mentioned ‘gambatte kudasai’ which translates roughly to Be Strong!
Perfect!
Hang on-I know I can do this.
~Jen
